Drug Trip Introduction

Recently I have been looking into receiving a psychological evaluation to determine, to confirm or deny, whether I have mental illness(es). I have always had issues with social competency and attention, in addition to very serious triggers and flash backs, and so I decided that it was about time that I explore more areas of my mind, in a clinical setting. I am already exceptionally thoughtful and insightful, I write and I read and I talk to like minded peers about the curiosities of life and our brains, but one thing I hadn't yet explored is my neurochemical makeup.

I have suspected for a few years now that I have Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) am on the Autism spectrum (ASD) and while ultimately social coaching is the surface level treatment I could hope to pursue, I also wanted to explore more about myself and make better sense of how my childhood, my personality, and any potential disorder(s) could affect my overall functioning. Around my late adolescence I became cognizant of how some very traumatic events in my childhood could have caused alternate repercussions for me, such as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). As of perhaps a year or two ago I also began to recognize that my moods are not typical or predictable like others' are and that perhaps I have a Bipolar disorder or Cyclothymia.

A few weeks ago I managed to corner some psychiatrists and received psycho testing only to reveal that I do indeed have PTSD, in addition to Cyclothymia, ADHD, and I meet the minimum (social) requirements for ASD.

After some serious thought about my results and then about what to do with them I decided I wanted to pursue (some) medication in order to isolate some neurochemical variables and see if my social functioning was still inhibited. The reason for this is because my psychotester had suggested that perhaps my manic episodes, or my hyperactivity could have delayed my social development as a young person. However, medication for ADHD, while highly effective, could adversely affect the mood swings of Bipolar disorders. In addition medication for Bipolar disorders is tricky and needs heavy monitoring to affirm proper usage.

But, being an INTJ, I wanted to take a scientific approach to figuring out correct dosages and decided that I should try out a few different kinds of medication to see if I liked them, or not. That is what this blog is going to be about, the pursuit of self-discovery through regulated trials of prescription medication, and exploring the intricacies of the chemical affects of such drugs on my day-to-day functioning, feelings, moods, concentration, and eventually, my relationships.

In these trials I will be taking medication of one type for two weeks with a two week fasting period afterwards and recording my results in blog format. I will be taking medication for ADHD and Cyclothymia. My hopes are that I will trump my inattention and be able to control my moods with the ultimate goal of learning vital social skills. In addition to medication I will be seeking therapy for PTSD and social skills coaching for ASD. While I have done a tremendous amount of introspection and self discipline, I am still interested in seeing what content professional therapists could provide me to work on.